


Distraction

by Meddow



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-30
Updated: 2006-04-30
Packaged: 2017-10-08 18:57:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/78553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meddow/pseuds/Meddow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Every day I miss the person I once was."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Distraction

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of an experiment in first person for the April 2006 rt_challenge. The prompt was: "The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves." ~ Victor Hugo

Every day I miss the person I once was. She was never carefree, she was never content, but every time she placed on her Auror robe she always had somewhere to go, something trivial to look forward too; a concert; a party; a meeting; even something so silly as a new hair colour to experiment with. She would never think like I do, she was far too good at distracting herself.

This morning when I placed on my Auror robe I wondered whether this would be the day in which it ends, the final day in the life of Nymphadora Tonks. Would this be the last time I would kiss Remus goodbye? I miss those silly trivial distractions that now no longer come easily. They have been consumed in the war like some much else I once liked about myself.

Some days I wonder I the girl I once was ever come back. Whether the change is permanent or whether there is hope for me yet. Will I ever be able to distract my thoughts like I once could and think about something other than death and destruction? Think about something as silly a what colour I should have my hair tomorrow?

Other days I decided that the change in me runs too deep to be temporary and I wonder whom he loves, the me of over a year ago that he fell in love with? Or the me of now that exists in her stead?

Tonight I confessed my thoughts to him as we lay in bed together, I tell him about my need for a distraction and my thoughts on change. I ask him the question I've been longing to ask and dreading to hear answered.

He considered his words carefully before he speaks them. "When this is over, you and I are going to go on a long holiday all around the world," he says. "Then you will feel much better, I promise."

I lie back, and think about how he failed to answer my question. I think about how on earth we are ever going to pay for his dream. I think about how we are going to get to all the places I want to go. I think about how wonderful it would be to one-day lie in the sand on a hot beach away from it all and I realise he has tricked me into a distraction.

"You know me to bloody well," I mutter.

He rolls over and faces me. "You are one and the same to me and I love every aspect of you."

Today I realised that the person I once was has not gone very far.


End file.
